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How Big Is Your Machine's Manhood?


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 PostPosted: Wed Dec 06, 2006 10:29 am   

Joined: Wed Dec 06, 2006 10:21 am
Posts: 1
Ok not really a full blown bash script. But its a little bit of fun

run the following to find out the size of your machine's manhood ;-)

echo `uptime|grep days|sed 's/.*up \([0-9]*\) day.*/\1\/10+/'; cat /proc/cpuinfo|grep '^cpu MHz'|awk '{print $4"/30 +";}';free|grep '^Mem'|awk '{print $3"/1024/3+"}'; df -P -k -x nfs -x smbfs | grep -v '(1k|1024)-blocks' | awk '{if ($1 ~ "/dev/(scsi|sd)"){ s+= $2} s+= $2;} END {print s/1024/50"/15+70";}'`|bc|sed 's/\(.$\)/.\1cm/'

and you've got 193.0cm to beat!


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 PostPosted: Wed Dec 06, 2006 11:49 am   
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Joined: Sun May 15, 2005 9:36 pm
Posts: 669
Location: Des Moines, Iowa
ha ha ha ......

remember, it's not how big it is, but if you know what to do with it ;) :lol: :lol:


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 PostPosted: Wed Dec 06, 2006 3:13 pm   

Joined: Mon May 16, 2005 6:29 pm
Posts: 94
Location: Upstate NY
um...how's 355.7cm?


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 PostPosted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 11:23 am   

Joined: Fri Oct 14, 2005 9:30 am
Posts: 61
28.5cm :cry:
:lol:
What does that script actually work out?


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 PostPosted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 12:21 pm   

Joined: Mon May 16, 2005 6:29 pm
Posts: 94
Location: Upstate NY
from what i can figure out it compares:
- uptime
- cpu
- ram
- disk storage
- number of scsi/sata devices?

then it runs it through bc (this is not on all distros by default) to do the calc and conversion to cm


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 PostPosted: Tue Dec 19, 2006 12:44 pm   

Joined: Fri Oct 14, 2005 9:30 am
Posts: 61
haha no wonder my machine is a failure in relationships - it has the shortest one going.
:lol:


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 PostPosted: Wed Dec 20, 2006 8:32 am   

Joined: Mon Dec 11, 2006 3:26 pm
Posts: 18
well i might have to mount a few servers around the office to get my numbers up... 62.1 cm

that's ok... there's a few scsi drives in the back i can get a little "play" from


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 PostPosted: Wed Dec 20, 2006 6:47 pm   
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Joined: Mon Jul 03, 2006 8:58 pm
Posts: 52
Location: Rochester, NY
68.2 cm.... guess I'm a little above average.

My wife's computer is 74.4 cm :o :(

We both still have a ways to go to achieve the average of 99.4 (after dropping the outliers -- looking at you isacklow and crudball). :roll:


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 PostPosted: Thu Dec 21, 2006 9:55 am   

Joined: Mon Dec 11, 2006 3:26 pm
Posts: 18
i'm up to 73.3 today... must be warm outside


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 PostPosted: Fri Dec 22, 2006 3:15 pm   
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Joined: Tue May 17, 2005 7:31 pm
Posts: 251
Location: Georgia
179.8cm :wink:


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 PostPosted: Mon May 14, 2007 4:34 pm   
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Joined: Wed May 03, 2006 2:05 pm
Posts: 242
745.1cm

Anybody need a date?


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 PostPosted: Mon May 14, 2007 5:37 pm   
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Joined: Mon Jul 03, 2006 8:58 pm
Posts: 52
Location: Rochester, NY
68.4cm

Guess the Compalis isn't doing much...


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 PostPosted: Mon May 14, 2007 7:38 pm   

Joined: Sun May 13, 2007 4:05 pm
Posts: 2
61.7cm for my laptop. i think the thing that kills me is the fact that I shutdown everynight :P


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